Yesterday, June 1st, would have been my 25th wedding anniversary, if my husband hadn’t given up on us. Given up on me! If I had been “enough” the way I am, we would still be married, but I wasn’t. To him, I was never smart enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, athletic enough, spiritual enough. Nothing I did was EVER enough and so June 1st, 2016, was just going to be like any other day, except that God had something else in mind for me.
Last Monday, I was walking through the school office, as I do at least 10 times every day in the course of doing my job. As I was leaving the office, our assistant Principal popped his head out the door and said the Principal wanted to see me. Now I don’t care who you are or how old you are, it is always scary to be called into the Principal’s office. I knew I hadn’t done anything wrong, but it’s still worrisome! She asked me to sit down. Yikes! And then, like the kiss of death, closed the door behind her. I was certain that I needed to pack my things, but then she asked me a simple question that sent my heart and mind into a tailspin. She asked…”Would you consider taking the position of Elementary General Music Teacher?”
If you know me, you know that I am not usually without words, but it seemed to me like I sat in silence for a very LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time. Eventually, I said something along the lines of “How am I qualified for something like that? I don’t have a degree or teaching certificate or anything like that?” Her response was that she has seen what I do in my class and with the after school clubs that I run (musical theater clubs) and she’s knows that I have what it takes to do the job! I still had to apply and go through the interview process, but she and the Executive Director would like me to consider applying. So, I did and the interview was set for May 31.
On Tuesday, May 31st, I was all prepared to interview for this position. I even ironed a skirt. Nothing makes you stand out more than being dressed up on what is supposed to be “water day” at school. Everyone else is in swimwear and I cracked out the good clothes. I had to dodge several questions about that, but I felt as ready as I would ever be. Nervous, but confident because I was just going to be myself in the interview. I have nothing to hide! She already knows that I don’t think I’m qualified, so I didn’t feel like I had anything to lose. Then I got the word. The interview had to be pushed until tomorrow, because of graduation scheduling conflicts. My interview was now going to be on my “should have been” 25th wedding anniversary day. Ugh!! All I could think was that I was probably going to burst into tears or something ridiculous during the interview because of the date, but there was nothing I could do about it.
I woke on June 1sr. Ironed another outfit. As 2:30 approached, I could feel the nerves building a little bit. I just kept reminding myself that she had asked me to apply so that had to mean something. If I don’t get the job, then I stay where I am, which a week ago was the plan. Then the time came. I did not know who all was going to be in the interview, but I assumed it would be the Principal, Choir Teacher and current Music Teacher. Those 3 were there, but then we were joined by the 2 Master Teachers, the Assistant Principal, and the Student Advisor/Counselor. 7 of them and 1 of me! All super nice people, but to say that I felt out numbered and under educated would be a major understatement. However, the interview began and everything changed.
After answering a couple of basic background questions, these people who I look up to and who are so much more educated and experienced that I am, started sharing things about me. Things that they know about me. Things that they’ve seen me do. Things that have impressed them about me. They all made me feel that I, Vonda, am enough! Just as I am. I do not have to prove anything more by getting a piece of paper that says I am educated. They have seen me in action and what they have seen was enough.
June 1st will now be a new anniversary for me. It is a day that I sat in a room of colleagues who all expressed that I am enough, just the way I am. God has been working in the background while I have been doing what comes naturally to me. Doing what I love! I have a Masters degree from the school of hard knocks and a PhD in working my butt off and because of those credentials I have accepted the position of General Elementary Music and Beginning Band Teacher at Horizon Honors Elementary School.